2/16/25

So I know it’s been quite a while since I have posted anything new and shiny for you all to read, but honestly, I have not had the motivation to write anything at all, like, at all, for what feels like eons. Since the holidays I have been struggling significantly with keeping my mental health in check. I also recently ventured back into the working world again. It’s just part-time but even that can feel overwhelming at times. I really don’t know if this persistent brain fog will ever dissipate and its driving me crazy. The 22nd is approaching faster than a rollercoaster ride zooming down its first drop, and I keep thinking of all the things I wish we could have joyfully done together and all the dreams that Jai should be pursuing in his exciting adult life. My heart feels more shattered and broken than ever; it's like time isn’t helping at all, just standing there laughing in the corner while chaos reigns. No, I’m not learning to live with the grief, maybe because I just don’t want to learn to live with it as everyone keeps telling me I absolutely should. All I truly want is my son back, right here with me, where he belongs. I won’t keep this website up much longer either. It initially helped me at first, but now it feels less comforting.