A Cure For My Tragedy

Today marks a poignant 16 months gone by. Where does the time go, honestly? It feels like just yesterday, yet my heart aches just the same, as if it's perpetually holding onto a heartache that refuses to fade. This tragedy must have a profound reason behind it, right? How can you be here one minute, radiating life and laughter, and then not be here the very next? Is this profound lesson intended for me to uncover my true purpose in life? Or perhaps, is the lesson not mine to learn at all? Is what I’m saying even making sense in the grand scheme of things? So many questions bubble up inside me, yet I find myself drowning in a sea of uncertainty with no answers in sight. I pray that God will help me find that elusive peace and comfort someday, but will that hopeful someday ever truly arrive? I desperately need a cure for this overwhelming tragedy that has unfolded. The whirlwind of emotions leaves me feeling like I’m sea sick, tangled in the relentless waves of despair. The waves just keep crashing down onto me, and I feel as though I can’t breathe, like I’m drowning in this sorrow and completely alone. Yet, amidst this storm, I think of Jai and how incredibly strong of a person he was. He always believed in pushing forward, urging me with his gentle yet fierce spirit to "come on, ma, get up and fight, keep swimming through the waves, and you will come out on top." I refuse to let this devil of a drug, fentanyl, win this battle. I will keep telling Jai’s story—our story—so that other parents and children out there will be informed and educated about this harsh reality! I will always be Jai’s ever-loving mom. I love and miss him so deeply, with every ounce of my being.